How lucky am I? I lost contact with someone who had a huge impact on me when I was growing up. However recently I discovered that we shouldn’t be worried when the past meets the present. Thanks to the joys of social media, and more specifically, LinkedIn, I had the opportunity to meet up with her again.
Over eighteen years ago, my drama teacher was a big part of my world. I was working through all my speech and drama exams and wanted to reach the highest level possible before going off to Drama School and becoming an award winning actress. Obviously life has thrown a few curve balls, and the role of award winning actress seemed to go to someone else.
Since I can remember acting was my life. It was all I wanted to do and all I thought about. Performing was my escapism, my chance to be someone else for a little while. Ultimately it allowed me to be free, free of the ‘real’ world and all the challenges that came with life. It sounds rather dramatic when I read that back. If I’m really honest, acting was something I was good at, that people praised me for and so I wanted to do more of it because it made me feel good.
When the past meets the present
Anyway back to Monday when I got to meet up with my old drama teacher. It felt more than a little surreal as she walked through the door of my house. Her beaming smile just as I remember and her childlike energy still as it had been.
So why is this relevant to anything I do and why would I choose to share this story with you?
I remember being invited once to a school reunion. I made a choice not to go. Why? It wasn’t because I hadn’t enjoyed school, or that I didn’t have friends. It was more to do with how I viewed myself. My fear or judgement, my fear of feeling inferior when the dreaded question of ‘so what have you done with your life?’ was asked. Do I regret not going to my reunion? A little I suppose, because it was how I viewed myself that stopped me. My thoughts were my reality, even though that reality really wasn’t the truth.
Inner Dialogue
Agreeing to meet up with my old drama teacher got me thinking. I no longer have that same inner dialogue I used to have. I don’t have the same fear and anxiety around people judging me. I took her desire to see me and catch up on our lives, as a positive. As we started telling stories of our pasts, and our present situations, I realised that there were so many things I was proud of. Experiences I had faced, challenges I had overcome and the many many things I have achieved on a personal and professional level. It felt good remembering these and taking time to appreciate all the changes I have chosen to make in my life for the better.
Life moves on at such a speed that rarely do we give ourselves time to reflect. Maybe it’s time to do just that and not to be concerned when the past meets the present.
Time spent in self-reflection isn’t wasted. It is an intimate date with yourself
