It’s funny how you think you have things planned, organised and on course. What you don’t plan for is the curveball.
The twelve-week Yoga Teacher Training had been all encompassing. The two weeks after I had finished saw me eating cake, drinking wine and putting yoga on hold, just because I could and just because I felt I needed a break from the copious downward dogs. My plan to get the Yoga ideas rolling was all set for the Monday. I knew what I wanted and I knew the steps I needed to take. It would need focus, determination and a sense of clarity to move things forward into the next exciting part of my yoga adventure. I was a Yoga Instructor, I had a new string to my bow and I was going to go forward with gusto.
Just when you think things are working out, life throws you a curveball
So when an email hit my inbox entitled ‘Dad’s Health’ I didn’t think much of it and merrily opened it. I read the words Doc said 90% chance it is cancer, but may not be and my stomach did a somersault. Those two syllables hold so much fear, pain and worry don’t they? CAN-CER. A word we all dread, a word that can turn lives upside down in moments, a word that shows no mercy, no apology, no regret.
I took a deep breath and continued cooking dinner for the children, listening to my youngest read her school book to me whilst doing my best to remain present….not an easy task at that moment in time.
Fast forward 8 weeks and we still don’t have a clear treatment plan. There’s been a biopsy, a bone scan and a MRI. What we are clear about is that it’s aggressive. A man of 73, with diabetes, high blood pressure, overweight and not of great health has been handed this too. It’s pointless asking why, it’s certainly energy zapping and ultimately terrifying to think about the future (for all of us). So what do you do when a curve ball like this decides to visit?
Everyone is different of course, so I can only tell you what I am choosing to do. I choose to make my Dad a priority, something I haven’t done for years. It’s time to spend time being present with him, share memories, share silences, share laughs. It’s time to take a step back and think about my role in all of this. I guess I thought my parents were invincible, and I guess that bubble has just been burst.
Who knows what the next few months are going to bring. Life can change in a second, life can throw you a curveball and there are so many things we learn from these moments. I know for me it’s a great reminder to be grateful and thankful for the people in my life, for the experiences that I have and the happiness I can choose at any given moment. We are not always in control of what challenges we are going to be faced with, but we are in control of how we choose to deal with them. So the words ‘be present, remember to breathe and allow space for love’ are the ones I am choosing today.
